Later today I will be leaving for Las Vegas for the annual AVN show being held at The Hard Rock hotel this year. Upon my return to Burbank, I’m looking forward to starting new custom projects & DVD releases for my website http://www.JewellMarceau.com I will also be available for private cam shows & Pro Dom sessions in the L.A. area until April 4^th, 2012. Please email me directly at jewellmarceau@yahoo.com to inquire about ordering your very own custom video project & booking a Pro Dom session with me.

Also, don’t forget to vote for me at Catfight Fantasy girls here: http://www.catfightfantasygirls.com/ Help me win by placing your votes on the right hand side of your screen or I will hunt you down for a good beating! Voting ends Feb. 1^st!

Wishing us all a Happy & Prosperous New Year!

Jewell Marceau

My friends at MensHealth.com shared this tip that make me horny just sharing it with you.!

“I love it when my boyfriend hums while giving me oral sex. And when he follows it up with very light finger taps, I detonate.”

Why it works: There’s a reason vibrators are so popular: Anything that shakes, rattles, or rolls primes a passel of nerves for peak sensation. “Any time you touch the skin with something vibrating, you transmit sensation to a wider area than you would through simple stroking,” says Paget. So you’re activating twice the nerves with half the work. “Top it off with a direct touch at the right time and to just the right place — in this case the clitoris — and you’ll probably send her over the edge.”

How to do it: Relax your lips (think Mick Jagger) and hum a tune (think “Brown Sugar”). Bring the outermost portion of your kisser in contact with the outside of her clitoris (the hood that covers the little nub) and her vaginal lips. Move your mouth around her clitoris — very slowly. When she can’t take any more, tap gently and in a circular motion with your fingertip on the swollen nub of the clitoris; or give it a few long, languid licks, staying in contact the whole time.”

Anyone for a little 3-Part harmony…???

One of my favorite resources is Men’s Health.com. Here’s a copulation of information they found when talking to groups of woman:

“There are millions of sex experts out there, and not all of them have radio shows to air their sex tips. They’re called “women,” and they’re a hell of a lot more fun to talk to than your average Ph.D. They conduct all their research on their own bodies, and they’re much more likely to let you in on the experimentation. So here’s what we did: We we went to the women first, and asked them what works best. We’re talking rockets’ red glare here, bombs bursting in there. Then we consulted the smartest sex docs around, so they could tell us why their sex tips worked. Now it’s up to you to implement. (And for more amazing ways to heat up your sex life, pick up a copy of Great Sex today!)

“Great lovers don’t memorize complicated techniques. They master the simple things that give women pleasure,” says Lou Paget, a sex educator and author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. Here’s what she’s asking for. The more you give, the more you get. Simple, right?

Here is one of their reader’s tips:

“When I’m about to climax during oral sex, my husband flicks his tongue really fast along the length of my clitoris. A few seconds of that, and walls shake.”

Why it works: Most men think of the clitoris as just that little bud under the hood, but it actually extends deep inside a woman’s body, explains Paget. When you flick your tongue quickly along its shaft, you’re not only covering more territory, you’re also creating vibrations that help carry your stimulation beyond the tongue’s reach.

How to do it: The key here is to make sure that the clitoral hood is out of the way. Don’t be afraid to pull it back gently and then make quick, darting motions with your tongue as far down along the tiny shaft as your tongue can go.

Stay tuned for more great sex tips to help you go places you’ve never gone before!

I LOVE having public sex. Oh yeah!  I happened to stumble upon this great article by my friends over at SexInfo101.com and just had to share it with you! The more information we have about sex, the better. Don’t you think?

What is public sex?

Having sex in public is a very common fantasy and all over the world couples are discretely committing sexual acts in public places. Public sex consists of intercourse or any other sex acts performed in places where others could potentially see the participants. The thrill of taking leave of your senses and gratifying yourself in a spontaneous act of love seems to be happening more and more often now because both men and women often find it a turn-on to think that someone might find them in a “compromising position”.

Why do people want to have public sex?

A couple’s lust for one another might simply be too overpowering to wait and they must have one another at that exact moment. Some couples find the heightened adrenaline rush associated with the possibility of being caught greatly increases their arousal and thus they purposely and habitually seek out semi-public places to commit their naughty deed, because a little bit of fear or nervousness can make the scenario of sex outside of the home very exciting and stimulating. Others perhaps engage in sex in public places such as an airplane washroom purely for bragging rights to the infamous “mile high club”. Whether the motives for making love in public are lack of private space, urgency, sexual variety, or down right naughtiness, people will continue to do it… so here are a few tips.

Is there anything wrong with public sex?

Couples engaging in sexual acts in public should be aware that most states and provinces have laws against indecent exposure and it is certain that any fantasy will be dampened if there is a serious danger of getting arrested by the police. So if you engage in public sex do so in situations where the chances of actually being caught and/or offending anyone are very low. As well, make sure that if you are in the sight of other people, that they aren’t minors.

What are some exciting places for public sex?

*Apartment Roof Top
* Balconies
* Beaches
* Building Elevator
* Dressing Rooms
* Hiking Trails
* Hot Tubs
* Library
* Lover’s Lanes
* Parked Cars
* Patios
* Pools
* Public Washrooms

How to know if your partner is ready?

Men are certainly known for their sexual enthusiasm; the promise of thrilling sexual gratification will make most men willing to commit this act despite the consequences. A sexually confident and liberated woman may also be eager to experiment, but the fact of the matter is that public sex is not for everyone, so don’t pressure your partner.

If you are unsure about your partner’s feelings about engaging in public sex, there are several approaches you can take. The first is the PDA test (Public Displays of Affection); your partner’s willingness to participate in public acts like holding hands, kissing, or full fledged making out are often the best indications of whether or not your partner wants to play outside. A second approach to measure her promiscuity is to bring it up directly. Whether it be brought up as a direct question, or undercover through a “what are your fantasies chat”, this approach is never a bad one, as communication is the key to every successful relationship. A third approach would be to go to a nice little spot and just go for it. To succeed with this approach, you are best off taking your partner to a location that is outdoors, but as secluded as the privacy of your own home. For example, take your lover on a hiking trip. Have everything you could need in your back pack, and find a nice little place to take a “rest”. Start things nice and slow, especially if you are unsure about whether you partner likes the idea.

For those couples who are naturally adventurous simply putting the moves on your intimate other in a semi-public place might be all the work that’s required of you, and hey you’ll never know unless you try… If you are in a healthy and sexually adventurous relationship, and are sure you’re partner would be up for the challenge; simply go for it. Make yourself as sexually attractive to your partner as possible; flirt, tease and make them want it as much as you do with prolonged foreplay. Do the things that you know turns them on and make them feel as though you must have them then and there, so it seems completely spontaneous. However don’t forget to have protection (condoms) with you – if appropriate – and almost as importantly, don’t leave the used protection behind!

Final Words of Caution

As fun and exciting as public sex can be, it is not without possible pitfalls. For example, you must be completely responsible about making sure children are not around! As you dive deeper into this world, remember that the riskier you get, the higher the likelihood of being caught by an unwanted viewer, such as the police! Exercise caution, play safe and enjoy!

I would love to hear about your public sex-adventures! just leave a comment below so we can all know about your hot and kinky times! What a turn on…

“Anal sex is many things to many people. Do it right, and you’ll get to do it again. Do it wrong, and you may be doomed forever. Well, probably not forever — but until she forgets how bad it was the first time around.

There are hundreds of anal sex guides online — explicit instructions on how to do it right. If you read at least a dozen of them, you’ll probably have a good idea about how to start off. The best piece of advice we can give you is to make sure she is hot for it before you start. Then you really can’t lose.

More Important facts about anal sex

Lubricant is essential
The anal canal does not produce its own lubricant, so it is imperative that you use a good quality lubricant in all your anal adventures. It is advisable to use a silicon-based lubricant because it tends to last longer and doesn’t dry up very quickly like some water-based lubricants do. Don’t use sticky petroleum-based products like Vaseline, as they clog up the walls of the rectum and are much too sticky.

Tease her
It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her butt. When she’s turned on, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Then, when you start to touch her closer to her anus, she will respond with moans and groans instead of a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with oils, relax her, love her, adore her, and caress her. Get her to the point where she is begging you for it, and do this without putting a single thing in her — tease, tease, tease. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you have — use it to your advantage.

Condoms and hygiene
Disease can be passed through unprotected sex — this includes anal sex. The wall of the rectum is very thin and permeable. However, using condoms can be better for both partners, for other reasons. Women may not like to have a bottom full of semen, which quite frankly is a fair call. After the disruptions of anal sex, the semen mixes with the contents of the rectum and it can get a little “upset” in there. Using a condom avoids this trouble.

Condoms may also protect the penis from any stray fecal matter, though this is generally not a problem, and if it does occur can be washed off easily with no harm done. Men may like to wear a condom so they last a bit longer — the condom desensitizes the penis somewhat, and allows for longer lovemaking.

What not to do
Do not ever put your penis into a woman’s body without her express permission. Do not treat her body like a scoring device. She is not an object for you to ejaculate in or on, and if she is kind enough to share her beautiful butt with you, treat it with respect and be happy you were allowed close enough to breathe her in at all. Don’t ejaculate inside of her if requested not to. Don’t slam, jackhammer or be forceful either.

What to always do
Always use lube. Always wear a condom if requested to without acting like a baby. Do as you are asked at all times — anal sex is a delicate situation and she needs to be able to trust you.

Gender presumptions and anal sex
When a heterosexual couple thinks of anal sex, it is generally man-in-woman anal sex. To get a good understanding of what it’s like — and how to improve your performance — it is necessary and helpful for you to open your mind to the possibility that anal sex is not something that only you do to your female lover, but something that you could do to each other.

Scared yet? Don’t be. If it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander. Anal sex takes a lot of practice to perfect, and experimenting with one another is a fantastic way to deepen your connection and enhance your sex life and relationship. It does not have to involve sex toys. You can use fingers, tongues, oils, lubes, and any number of other things. Experiment, and let your own body be loved. It will pay off.”

I would love what you have to say about all this anal information! Share your adventures with us! I would LOVE to hear them!

“#1: Because anal sex hurts
Anal sex is not easy to master when you haven’t done it before. For a man it may seem straightforward — in, out — but it isn’t this simple. Women hate anal sex primarily because it hurts. It can cause cold sweats, shivers, extreme agony, and a massive chemical release into the blood stream that causes pain. This is highly unpleasant, but may be endured because A) She wants to like it; and B) She wants you to like it.

If you’re not very careful, if you don’t warm her up properly, if you don’t go slowly enough, you will probably hurt her. This really minimizes your chances for trying anal sex again. Do your best every time and you have at least a fighting chance at having another go.

#2: Because she’s worried about a mess
Anal sex is obviously a hot spot for mess. The idea that you could penetrate her butt and come out in a sticky situation is hugely embarrassing for her before it’s even happened, and for this reason she may avoid anal sex altogether. Women spend so much time making themselves look and smell beautiful that to have something ruin her hard work can be mildly devastating. Worrying about mess can be alleviated by using an anal douche before engaging in any anal play. Try taking a shower together too, and make sure her bowels are emptied at least an hour before starting.”

Some great advice, yes? Knowledge is power, and in this case, knowledge can bring you fun and unexpected pleasure!

Feel free to leave a comment below on how all these tips and information are helping YOUR sex life (They’re doing wonders for mine)!

Here is another reason why women love gettin’ it from behind (as seen at the site AskMen.com):

#2: Because anal sex is naughty

“People love to be a little bit naughty sometimes, and anal sex is one of those things you can do completely privately, and nobody will ever know you were naughty except you and your partner — which is part of the fun. It is also often a “first time for everything” type of activity that can also be nice — doing something you’ve never done before, ever.”

So stayed tuned for what’s up next: why she hates anal sex because of what can go wrong. Wouldn’t you like to know about what could go wrong so you can totally avoid the pitfalls of anal sex? I bet your saying YES!

Feel free to share your anal stories–good and bad–below. I’d love to hear it ALL!

But men! Here are some things that maybe you didn’t know about masturbation:

1. There’s no such thing as “abnormal” masturbation.

Men often wonder if there’s something abnormal about the way they masturbate. But experts are loath to offer specific definitions of “normal” and “abnormal,” pointing out that men show great variations in both frequency and technique. “We humans are too diverse to establish a norm,” says Betty Dodson, PhD, a New York City-based sexologist and the author of Sex for One. Every man masturbates in his own way, says Martha Cornog, the author of The Big Book of Masturbation, whether he “uses his hands, rubs against something, uses a sex toy or household object, wears special clothing, fantasizes, looks at a book or magazine, tries different positions, or looks in a mirror.”
2. Masturbation is very safe — but not entirely safe.

Unlike sex with a partner, masturbation can’t give you a sexually transmitted disease. Nor will it subject you to the muscle strains, pokes in the eye, and awkward moments that can come with partner sex. But masturbation safety isn’t guaranteed. “Masturbation is just about the safest sex there is,” says Cornog. “But the laws of physics and biology don’t stop operating just because someone is masturbating.”

Frequent or overly vigorous masturbation can irritate the skin of the penis, as the average guy knows all too well. Less well known is that habitually masturbating face down — for example, by thrusting against a sheet, pillow, or even a carpeted floor — can injure the urethra in such a way that urine exits the penis not in a stream but in a hard-to-control spray. Barbara Bartlik, MD, a psychiatrist and sex therapist in New York City, says she’s seen facedown masturbators with urethral trauma so severe that they are no longer able to use a urinal and must urinate while seated.

In certain extremely rare instances, masturbation and partner sex alike can cause penile fracture. This painful condition — actually a tear in the tunica albuginea, the whitish tissue surrounding the penis’s spongy layers — occurs when an erect penis strikes a hard object or is forced downward. A medical emergency, it often necessitates surgery.

For more of these great masturbation insights, read the rest of the article here

I am just loving these kissing tips! The folks at “Women’s Health” sure know their stuff! Here’s one that is right up my alley… Whatcha think?

Kissing Tip #4

Rough It Up

“A small dose of pain will take an ordinary smooch to extraordinary heights. ‘The feel-good endorphins your body releases as you kiss and become more aroused are a natural pain reliever,’ says Sadie Allison, D.H.S., author of Ride ‘Em Cowgirl: Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking. “Plus, when you apply firm touch to the body, you force more blood to rush to those areas, heightening the responsiveness of your skin receptors.” So wrap your hand around the nape of his neck and gently pull him toward you, maintaining eye contact. Then, as your lips meet, slowly get aggressive, letting your passion build naturally. “The idea is to use subtle force. Lightly pull at his bottom lip with your teeth, rake your fingernails down the side of his neck and back, and tug his hair after warming him up with some soft, sensual kissing,” says Allison.

I am so wet just thinking of doing this one! What are your reactions? Let me know!

Here we go!

Sex Mistake No. 5: Wet = Turned On

Guys sometimes get hung up if a woman doesn’t get slippery enough for easy penetration. Don’t worry about it. “I think there’s a myth that if you’re turned on, you’re wet,” Taormino says. Not necessarily. Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it’s subject to influences like stress and medications.

Sex Mistake No. 6: Silence Is Golden

A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what’s doing it for you and what isn’t. If you’re respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions. “I’m not saying push her head in your lap,” Taormino says. “I think that, ‘this is how I like it,’ is a very useful conversation to have.”

Guys, I hope you have found these tips useful and perhaps girls, you can pass these on to your guy! I love to know that everyone out there is having great hot sex like me! Let me know what’s going on and what you think!

“Sex Mistake No. 3: Sex Feels the Same for Men and Women

Paget says there tends to be a “huge disconnect” between men and women in the ways that sex feels good. “When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn’t feeling the same way for her,” Paget says. “It couldn’t be further from the truth.”

The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long, “it feels like you’re getting punched in the stomach,” Paget says. “It makes you feel nauseous.”

Sex Mistake No. 4: You Know Your Way Around a Woman’s Anatomy

Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it. That’s not to say that they really understand it. More than 30 years ago, at the start of the “sexual revolution,” a best-selling book called the Joy of Sex (an illustrated sex manual) got Americans hip to the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women must be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration stubbornly persists.

“I still get letters from people who say things like, my wife can’t [orgasm] from intercourse unless she has clitoral stimulation — please help,” Taormino says. “I want to write back and say, ‘OK, what’s the problem?’” “For the majority of women, it’s not going to happen that way,” Paget says. Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is, Taormino says. A touch that’s bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.  How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Try asking her.

Even more of their sex advice in my post! As always, please share your comments and experiences below. I would LOVE to hear what you have to say (and are doing for some great sex and kink!)!

Tristan Taormino is an author, lecturer, and video producer. Her latest project is the Expert Guide educational video series from Vivid Ed.

Lou Paget is author of “The Great Lover Playbook” and other sex manuals, and she gives seminars nationwide. According to these experts:

“Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What She Wants

Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they’ve done with other women. But women aren’t all the same. ‘You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person,’ Taormino says. That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships, she says. ‘There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between.’

Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All She Needs

Some women can’t have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator. ‘If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she’s not broken,’ Taormino says. Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. ‘While you’re doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else,’ Taormino says.”

I will reveal more of their sex advice in my upcoming posts! Stay tuned! And please share your comments and experiences below. I would LOVE to hear what you have to say!

Cory Silverber, an AASECT certified sexuality educator, author, media contributor and researcher tell us: “Talking dirty to the one you love (or even just the one you’re with) is one of those sexual behaviors people are uncomfortable with the first time they do it, and the first time they do it with a new partner. To do it well means letting loose and exposing yourself, which always feels scary the first time. Here are some steps to getting comfortable with dirty talk, and ideas for introducing into your sex play.

Time Required: Learning to talk dirty is a labor of love, it takes time!

Here’s How:

Be authentic in your dirty talk:
Dirty talk can feel silly if you expect it to be what you’ve seen in the movies. You might have this idea that dirty talk is something specific. But good dirty talk is completely what you make it, and to do it well, you have to be yourself. While you may take on a role in your dirty talk (e.g. the ravished submissive) you need to find something of yourself in the role. Make a list of different aspects of your personality you can draw on for inspiration.

Find your dirty talk voice:
You need to find your own way of talking dirty. Your dirty talk might be low rhythmic grunts, high pitched squeals, or precise whispers. It might reflect the way you talk in your daily life, or it might express a different aspect of your personality. You don’t need to pick only one voice, the element of surprise can add an extra sense of anticipation, when your partner doesn’t know what they’re going to get an earful of next!

Expand your dirty talk vocabulary.
Most of us are raised not to swear. Dirty talk is your opportunity to pull out all the stops on the foul mouth express. Unless you’re role playing calls for it, avoid clinical terms (like penis). If you’re at a loss, do some research. Both of the books recommended below have lists of words. But you can do research online, by reading some raunchy erotica, or in some cases watching porn (although the dirty talk in porn tends to be unimaginative).

Practice dirty talk when you’re alone.
Carol Queen, author of the highly recommended Exhibitionism for the Shy , suggests starting on your own, talking dirty while you masturbate. Fantasize about having sex with your partner and talking dirty to them. You can start by doing it in your head, but eventually do it out loud.

Establish ground rules with your partner.
One of the reasons many of us don’t talk dirty is fear of sounding ridiculous, or being put down or rejected by a partner. It’s important to set some rules when you’re willing to take risks like this. Rules like no laughing at one another, and no judgment are important. In the heat of the moment anything can come out of your mouth, and you need to know that your partner is respectful of the ways that can be exposing.

Start slow the first time.
Don’t feel you have to rush right into elaborate verbal gymnastics. A great way to start with dirty talk is to describe out loud what is happening during sex. Things like “I love the way your hand feels in my….” Or “Your …feels so good on/in my…” Describe what’s happening and how it feels in your body. You can also experiment by telling your partner something you’re going to do to them, or something you want them to do to you.

Experiment with your voice.
Most of us take for granted all the different things we can do with our voice, and the impact these changes have. Experiment with speed, how fast you talk. Some things call for a staccato barrage, while some things are best said slowly. Change the volume of your voice, try whispering, try screaming, try everything in the middle. Also play with the tenor of your voice. You can sound commanding and harsh, trembling and uncertain, and everywhere in between.

Make dirty talking a two way conversation.
Once you’ve taken the risk and initiated talking dirty with your partner, ask them to do the same. It isn’t for everyone, and you might find that you like doing it more than hearing it (or vice versa). But being on the receiving and the giving end of dirty talk can give you a different perspective on it, plus you may learn a few things from your partner you didn’t already know.”

So let me know how these tips work for you and put in your comments below. And let me know if you have anything to add! I am always willing to learn something new!

Love and Ropes…

Very few things that happen during sex are a disaster unless you choose to see them that way. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.

The Journal of Marital and Sexual Therapy recently reported that 1 in 4 of us are unhappy with our sex lives. Problems with sex arise out of a combination of factors: for example lack of confidence, communication difficulties, inexperience and lack of skill, unrealistic expectations, refusal to take responsibility for our own sexual pleasure and

What many people are not aware of is that there are a vast amount of beliefs and opinions about sex that we all have and take with us into every sexual encounter. For the most part, we are not aware of out particular biases and expectations yet these unexamined yet rigid convictions have the potential to ruin any sexual experience.

1. SEXUAL FANTASY IS A BARRIER TO INTIMACY

Many people prevent themselves from having the best sexual experiences that they could have because they believe that fantasy should be restricted to masturbation and should not be an aspect of partner sex. This could not be further from the truth. Choosing whether and when to share a private desire with your partner can be exhilarating. Yet sharing is not the point of fantasy. Fantasy is all about learning what turns you on and exploring your potential to express your sexuality. It is not unusual for women to have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner because of insufficient mental arousal. She probably knows how to orgasm through masturbation but feels too guilty to enter the realm of fantasy when with her partner. The ability to be intimate is enhanced by self-knowledge and confidence and the uninhibited expression and communication of fantasy can bring people closer together.

2. PENETRATION IS THE GOAL OF SEX

Concentrating on the destination rather than the journey is responsible for the burden placed upon men to ‘perform’ on demand but is only a part of a vastly wider area of sexual possibilities. Penetration is often made the center of sex, yet oral and manual sexual activity is likely to be at least as – and frequently more – satisfying for a woman. When penetration is seen as the ‘goal’ of sex, then foreplay becomes something that leads to proper sex, rather than being a pleasure in and of itself. When sex is reduced to being a rush towards the man’s ejaculation through penetration, then it is no wonder that so many people find sex to be disinteresting and boring. It is more that the definitions of sex in our culture are shallow and trivialize the majesty and mystery that sex can be.

3 MORE SEX MEANS BETTER SEX

Quality versus quantity of sex is likely to be different at varying times. It is unrealistic to expect that sex is always going to be mind-blowing and require a heavy investment of time and effort. Variety is the key. Getting stuck in a predictable routine that both partners play out means that sometimes both quantity and quality suffer. We are surrounded by misinformation about sex. Surveys that tell us how often everybody is having sex (or more realistically, how often people say they are having sex) become methods of establishing a spurious norm of sexual activity that you may try to replicate.

Quality can suffer if you are too intent upon upping the quantity of your sexual experiences. Many people feel under pressure to have a lot of sex but this does not mean that they are going to be a better lover or have better sex. It merely means that they have more sex. Compulsive sexual behaviour can be detrimental to your sense of who you are, what you have to offer, your work, relationships. It can mask low quality sex. Comparing yourself with your perceptions of other people’s sex lives is always a destructive mode to get into. The only thing that needs matter to you is your own sexual happiness.

4 I AM JUST NOT A VERY SEXUAL PERSON

Loss of sexual desire is a common concern for many people and it is an issue that has no single cause. When you have persistent thoughts about feeling unworthy, unloved, unwanted and of not deserving of great sex, not attractive enough, you may manage to convince yourself that you just are not very sexual. Everybody has sexual energy and the capacity to express and enjoy a fulfilling sex life. What can happen is that your negative thoughts about yourself mean that you lose touch with the sexual part of yourself and start to feel disconnected from your sexuality. Identifying the internal self-talk that is damaging your sexual expression enables you to begin to re-connect with your sexuality and believe that you are no different to anyone else: you deserve and are entitled to sexual happiness. You will need to change the way you think about yourself or your label will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are looking for evidence to back up a belief, you can always find it. It doesn’t make it right or true. It just means you see what you want to see, whatever helps you feel comfortable – even this is only the comfort to be found in what is safe, unchallenging and familiar.

5 BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE HAVE BETTER SEX.

Sex begins in the brain and sexual attraction and energy feed off of factors other than physical appearance. When you make love, you are so much more than your body. This belief feeds off the comparisons you make between yourself and other people. Beautiful people do not have more successful relationships, nor do they have better sex. Sexual fulfillment is about self-acceptance. The way you feel about your body is apparent to other people and can make sex a joy or a disaster. The danger with this belief is that you start to play the game of ‘If only’. If only I was thinner, more attractive, more sexually adventurous, then I can have the sex life that I want. When you make your dreams dependent upon some other change, then you reduce the chances that you will find the courage to make any changes at all. There is nothing to be gained by waiting. You need to start taking action to change now.

Your body image and the things you tell yourself about your sexual desirability are important factors that influence your sexual happiness. Whilst valuing your own desirability makes quality sex more achievable, loving your looks alone is no guarantee of a deeper and more solid sense of self-esteem. You can feel desirable but empty of desire. Self-acceptance and learning to love yourself extends beyond appreciating your attractiveness and incorporates an acknowledgment and respect of who you are, what you stand for and what you contribute to the world and other people.

6 THE CHILDREN MUST COME FIRST.

Many couples experience a decrease in their sexual satisfaction after they have had children. Believing that the child’s needs should always come first can mean that a total lack of privacy, time, energy and commitment makes sex a distant memory. Having children is a stressful time for every couple and the relationship dynamic will change. Balancing affection and attention between your children and your partner is a challenge that needs to be met head on.

Couples with young children need time alone to focus on each other’s needs and desires. They need to listen and respect each other and acknowledge their sexual situation, whatever it is. Being a mother or a father does not mean that you have to give up being yourself. It is important to set boundaries with your young children so that they know and accept that their parents expect privacy sometimes and are not always prepared to rush to fulfill their child’s needs on demand.

7. SEX IS NO LAUGHING MATTER

Playing, being silly and laughing are all great ways to deepen intimacy and enhance sexual pleasure. Some people believe that sex must be, can only be, ‘romantic’ and so attach a great deal of earnestness to the experience. It is possible to learn the benefits of lightening up. When sex cannot incorporate elements of play, it is often an indication of an impoverished emotional connection. Usually, it is not difficult to bring the fun back into sex, even if it feels a little forced at first.

When sex is viewed as about achievement and competition, then lightness and frivolity are likely to be absent. Keep in mind that sex is about whatever works for you and keeping play and foolishness a part of sex can help to prevent sex becoming a stale and predictable.

8. SEX MUST BE A GENEROUS ACT; I WANT TO SATISFY HIS/HER SEXUAL NEEDS

Great sex is both generous and selfish. Most people do get turned on by their partner’s arousal and this is fantastic but if you put all your energy into finding out what she/he wants, what about you? Who is giving you what you need? Being prepared to get your own needs met is an indication that you are willing to take care of yourself, rather than relying upon other people to meet your unmet and perhaps unvoiced desires.

Sexual communication is all about clarity, saying what you think and feel. It is also about setting boundaries, discussing what you do not like and both parties must be able to say no and for this to be accepted. If you find yourself having sex because you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, think about what you are doing. Honour yourself and what you want and share any feelings of ambivalence. This means that intimacy levels can remain high and misunderstandings are not given opportunity to distort your relationship with your partner.

9. PREMATURE EJACULATION IS A SIGN OF A POOR LOVER.

Being unable to control ejaculation is a worry for many men. Most practically, even if you have had an orgasm, don’t leave your partner high and dry. Often feelings of shame, failure and anticipating your partner’s disappointment mean that his orgasm means the end of sex. It comes back to widening your perception of what sex can be and not being enslaved to ideas about sexuality that are widely circulated in our culture.

In terms of his sexual pleasure, learning how to manage his anxiety about performance and being able to talk to a partner are the most effective ways of building sexual confidence. Some of the informal strategies that are popular in our culture do more harm than good. For example, trying to delay ejaculation by distracting yourself with non-sexual thoughts will do little to enhance your sexual pleasure.
This strategy is more likely to create a feeling of disassociation for him from his own body and the situation that he is in. It may help him to delay ejaculation (although this is debatable) but consciously focusing away from your physical pleasure is unlikely to facilitate peak sexual experiences. Being emotionally present during sex is crucial to sexual awareness and intimacy. It is a far more successful strategy for a man to learn about how to control his ejaculation than to continue to consciously create emotional distance from his partner and the sexual experience.

Tantric sex exploration is a great way to learn the capacity to control male ejaculation as it teaches techniques that enable him to distinguish between orgasm and ejaculation. Contrary to popular belief they are not the same thing!

10. AN ERECTION IS ONE AND THE SAME THING AS SEXUAL AROUSAL

This is a difficult idea for many people to get their heads around. Sexual arousal happens within a context that is emotional, physiological and visual. If you think about the nature of desire and attraction, recognise that it is not always a purely physical response; it involves idiosyncratic and sometimes unpredictable preferences. Sexual desire just does not exist without a sexual context. It is confirmed/reduced by the accompanying emotions and thoughts that you focus on at any time. Men have erections of varying hardness according to how they are thinking and feeling at the time. An erection does not necessarily mean that a man is fully, or even a little, aroused. He may become erect without feeling particularly sexy.

For men who are insecure about maintaining their erection, confusing erection with arousal means that they often rush into sex before they are completely ready. If you habitually move from low arousal into sex, desire may well start to decrease. Part of the reason for this is that many men feel that they may lose an erection if they don’t immediately act upon its presence. Having sex in an atmosphere of fear and insecurity is not going to give you the best sexual experiences that you are capable of having.

There are many things that men can do to learn to have more confidence and control over their erections and ejaculatory control instead of ignoring his insecurity and depriving himself of great sexual experiences. Whenever your decisions and actions are motivated by fear and uncertainty, you are selling yourself short in some way or another. Many men are not sure about where their pleasure comes from during sex and experience a lack of understanding about their own bodies that means that they are unaware that their whole body can become aroused. If you are committed to gaining ore control over your ejaculatory response, invest in some of the many interesting and informative guides that enable men to delay ejaculation and become more connected with their sexual potential.

There are many other myths that run people’s sex lives. Whenever you find yourself thinking ‘he / she / I should / must / ought . . . ‘, you are probably listening to the demands of a sex myth that is taking you away from what you want and think and encouraging you to follow what other people want and feel. When are you going to listen to and follow you own rules?

Recognise that the thoughts that you have affect the sex life that you create. Know that you can choose to change the way you think and learn self-acceptance, respect for your sexual self and experience ease, excitement and power in the ways you choose to express yourself sexually.

© Dr Tara Few, The UK Sex Coach, 2007

I have great news to share! I am finally walking without my crutches! I can’t believe my foot was actually broken and not sprained!   I can’t walk very fast and I have a bit of a sexy limp, but I am getting around and going places! I still can’t walk in a vampy, seductive pair of 6 inch heels, but I’m hoping that will come soon. I will actually have to wear flat shoes at Fetishcon-Oh the horror! I don’t know how I will manage to feel sexy! I hope I will still meet some of you at the annual Fetishcon Aug.13th-16th in Tampa, Fl. I will be selling my library of DVD’s at rock-bottom prices, as well as taking pictures with fans & signing autographs. And as always the money earned from selling all autographed 8×10’s at my booth will go to my favorite charity! For more information on the annual ultra kinky, fetish friendly event please click here. I am also available for shootings (as long as I don’t have to stand in heels!) during and after the convention. For all inquiries on booking time for shoots, please email me here at jewell@jewellmarceau.com.

I have more good news! I am finally returning to the USA from England & Holland on Aug. 7th and I will be available for private ProDomination sessions in the US. Please email me at jewell@marceau.com for bookings or click here for more details on what we can create during a private session. I am always available for private 1 on 1 video chat sessions via Skype no matter what country I am in. I would love to chat with you; just you and me all alone! For more info on prices and booking your own chat session, please click here.

Don’t forget to check out my latest video release titled “Hooded Eroticism” available now for only $29.95. Check it out on my store page. This video features yours truly trying on latex hoods for you while I masturbate to orgasm, then I instruct you to do the same as I stroke my cock in just the same way I want you to until you cum for me! This video is very intimate for the viewer and is a latex lover’s dream cum true!

Please keep sending me all of your custom video requests. I am happy to produce them with the fetish model of your choice. I will be walking in heels soon and I will be available for this very soon if it is required in your script. I really love making your personal fetish fantasies come true. For more info on submitting your custom video ideas and getting price quotes click here.

Before I leave London, I’d like to share some more photos of the fun I had even while being on crutches during almost my entire trip. Here I am with Mistress Absolute with her slave Abbey and my girlfriend Gaby in Leicester Square.

Here I am on the English beach in Kent. Walking on a pebble beach is tricky-it can be like skiing on moving rocks if you’re not careful!

Here is a picture of a local “Brit” suffocating me on the 4th of July with the American Flag. Do you this she was sending me some kind of message??

Here’s another photo of us sluttin’ it up at Mistress Absolute’s London fetish club Subversion.

I extend many apologies to you all for my ongoing internet problems that have prevented me from providing you with clear, uninterrupted live web cam performances while I have been in the UK. Unfortunately the problem was out of my control, but I will be returning to the states in one week and I will keep you pos ted on the next chat date. I promise to make time to play and relax with my most favorite kinky friends with a steady hour of cam performance without getting booted off over and over. Thanks for all of your understanding and your ongoing support for my kinky business of bondage, sex, and domination. There is nothing more I’d rather do than satisfy me, while satisfying you!

Slippery wet dreams,

Jewell M.